and i'm back

I didn't actually go anywhere, I just didn't feel like blogging for the past (almost) two months although there have been some things worth blogging about. There were times actually when I already started writing an entry, complete with pictures and videos but halfway through, I would just lose interest and save whatever work I've done as draft, to be published later but eventually lost in oblivion.

The time that I didn't blog is probably the period when I most frequently asked myself: "Why the hell am I a medical student?" See, the period that I didn't blog was the time for my elective (and since I took mine last summer, I had four weeks off from med school) and OB-Gyne rotation. During my elective time, I realized that I do have a lot of other interests and that I could potentially make a career out of my other interests. Meanwhile during my OB-Gyne rotation, I realized that I'm not able to do many things that I'd love to do because of my commitment to medicine (ok, fine, mostly I wasn't able to watch the reunion gig of Boldstar and that sucks, big time). Seriously though, I've been having doubts as to whether I made the right decision when I chose to go into medical school some four or five years ago.

As my OB-Gyne rotation ended and I've ruled it out as a possible specialty for me in the future, I looked forward to my emergency medicine rotation which I thought would be exciting but it just disappointed me; it wasn't half as exciting as being in an OR where head and neck surgeons remove a man's mandible with a huge mass. It wasn't even half as exciting as assisting in a trans-tibial amputation and I don't even like orthopedics.However, I haven't ruled it out completely because I kind of like triaging patients, plus I think that the emergency medicine in the country still needs a lot of work and actually needs people to work on its improvement.

However, the first time that I felt excited over something was yesterday, outside of the hospital. I was one of the few people who weren't on duty and didn't have a class yesterday (I was actually post-duty) so with my batchmate, Maui (who was also post-duty), I manned my sorority's booth at the annual conference "Ako Para sa Bata" of the Child Protection Network. This year, the theme is "Creating Safe and Caring Environments for Children." We have a booth at the conference to promote our project Gawad Panitikang Pangkalusugan 2, a nationwide children's story writing contest and this time, the contest aims to promote the creation of safe and caring environments for children.

As I listened to the lectures of Dr. Rafael Consunji and Dr. Bernadette Madrid (who happen to be a brod and a sis) in the morning at the plenary session and later in the afternoon to Atty. Katrina Legarda during a symposium, I realized that I really, sincerely, earnestly want to work in child protection. So what about pediatrics? In retrospect, I liked my pediatrics rotation better than my OB-Gyne rotation and the only thing that made OB-Gyne bearable for me was the neonates. Definitely, pediatrics is still among my differentials and I feel that I would reach a point when I would have to choose between children and [head and neck] surgeries.

And yesterday even though I was sleepy because I was post-duty and worse, I had a prodrome of an illness yesterday, I felt happy and alive. Perhaps I became a med student so that I would be able to meet these people who have the same interest as I do and to have these great opportunities for learning and a future career. Although I am still undecided as to what specialty I want to go into or if I would go into residency at all, I am pretty decided already that I want to be a child protection expert. Perhaps I've already found my advocacy? Maybe, maybe.